So You’re Dating a Non-Vegan
In case you didn’t know, both Devin and Katherine are dating non-vegans and have been for a while. A lifestyle that can be difficult at times, however with a few simple strategies we have both been able to make them thrive. Something that we both learned quickly; compromise is everything. It can be difficult to compromise on something that is so close to your heart, but we are here to tell you that it can be done. We are proof of it. We understand that it is a hard thing to grasp your head around, that maybe you don’t know where to start. Through our experiences we put together this post filled with our advice on how to approach this situation.
Some may be upset by this post. Many vegans choose not to date non-vegans and we totally respect their choice. However we don’t think it’s necessary for everyone. We think it is absolutely possible to date a non-vegan because, well, we are dating them. We believe that everyone should be able to make their own choices about what is best to put in their body. Before we talk too much about our beliefs, let’s dive into our tips for dating non-vegans, as a vegan.
It’s important to respect each other, in any relationship, no matter what your lifestyle. If you don’t respect each other’s choices, then why are you sharing your life with each other? What we mean by this is simple; respect that they understand what the best decisions are for them. Respect that they will take the time to understand your point of view and trust that they will also respect your lifestyle.
Some couples find it helpful to set rules. No this doesn’t mean telling someone that they can never eat something (although if this works for your relationship, by all means give it a try). This means setting home rules. We have heard some people set a rule that their household is vegan, but that their partner may have non-vegan food at restaurants or out with friends. Neither of us have these rules, however Kat, who lives with her partner, does most of the cooking she essentially has a vegan household with the exception of an item or two.
In any relationship it’s important to communicate about something that may cause an issue. Let them know when something is making you uncomfortable and why it is. This is the respectful thing to do in any relationship, romantic or not. If you let it linger, it will often come up in an explosive way and result in an unnecessary fight. Communicate when it first comes up and give them the opportunity to address it and work on a compromise.
Obviously when you are in a relationship, date nights are a thing. This can be difficult in a vegan/non-vegan relationship as you may need to eat a different places. Do your research and find restaurants that have good vegan options, or if they are up for it restaurants that are entirely vegan. Often restaurants can be quite accommodating to a vegan, as long as you call ahead and let them know when you are coming. We have also done date nights where we do more fast-food style and each get our own thing to eat that way everyone gets what they want.
Yes this can be an uncomfortable conversation to bring up, however in a relationship where you each have two different lifestyles you believe are best, it’s important to bring this up earlier rather than later. Talk about marriage, households and kids. Kids is the biggest one. How would you want your kids to be raised? However if you don’t agree right away, don’t completely write off the relationship. Talk some more and in a rational manner communicate your side of the argument and learn to compromise. If it is something that you can’t settle on, after some talks, you may need to think seriously about the status of your relationship.
Are you in a relationship with someone that lives a different lifestyle? How do you make it work? What are your tips for those that are entering similar relationships? Let us know in the comments below!